How Confessions Build Revenue

I am stepping out of my comfort zone today to practice what I preach: BE BROWN BRAVE. Part of being brown brave is to have me become aware of my bias toward others. Reflecting over my 25-year working career, I conjure "3 PROGRESSING FEELINGS". One of DESPAIR. One of HAPPINESS. One of EMPATHY.

The DESPAIR

My despair stemmed from working in America's employment system as a woman of color (WOC). I experienced success in varied forms, aggression from many coworkers, and minimum support from my workplace environment. Being a brown woman working in America, my color and gender were not regularly seen in many companies. At first, I did not notice my differences as challenging at work because they were not viewed as negatives, only differences. Yet, as I became an adult exposed to more work cultures, I noticed a support change. My support began to dwindle. I saw fewer women of color coworkers. I did not get advanced in many roles that I was qualified for. Sadly, I received more than my share of workplace rudeness and disrespect. For example, I was typically the only woman or person of color on many teams. I was overlooked for promotion many times. I was regularly shouted at and lied about often. These aggressions came from coworkers at the entry-level up to the senior level. The aggressors worked in many functions, such as from the point of sale through shipping. Their malicious acts were in the form of slight to blatant. Although I was allowed to work in corporate over many others, I was saddened for years trying to show my added value.

The HAPPINESS

As a human, I wanted joy for all, but when my coworkers were experiencing more fun than I did yet still caused me harm, I felt anger. So, I was elated when some of those aggressors experienced trauma & stress in their personal lives and at work. I recall a white female peer Engineer who constantly talked down to me, rudely talked over me, and openly shared placing obstacles for me. One week she came to work often crying due to extra-marital affairs by her husband. I felt overjoyed knowing she would now feel similar discomfort that she dished me.

Another very uncomfortable moment was when our white male general manager requested I lie to a customer that I did not complete my work for them so that could buy us time. Yet he failed to share that would make me appear incompetent, not to mention practice inappropriate business ethics. When I did not comply with his request, he shouted at me so loud in front of my white male peer, who only lowered his head in silence. His shouting at me continued for quite some time, where I surprisingly sat quiet, bewildered at first, angry next, then patient later. The following Monday, he fired me. Yet before I separated from the company, I felt overjoyed as he came into work with his face completely scratched to pieces. Word around the company was that he had issues with his wife.

Another very uncomfortable moment I recall was when my white male upper manager surprisingly made inappropriate advances toward me when I went to him for help due to unfair treatment from my immediate manager. Again, I felt overjoyed when the new vice president and his senior executives came aboard as he must have been questioned by them on his inappropriate behavior with other employees because he privately locked himself & me in an office to secretly ask if I was contacted by HR asking questions about him. I honestly shared that I had not, and soon he was forced to leave the company. It felt good knowing he felt similar discomfort he dished to me. I now reflect on so many encounters like these.

The EMPATHY

Now that many in America openly discuss racial and gender inappropriate behaviors, I want to share my thoughts and experiences. Many people of color, especially women, would have wished & loved to have had great experiences like mine before they were tainted with a lack of support. And they would also want those unpleasant coworkers to receive bad karma, the same as me. This is where I want to confess. Although my peer, general manager, and upper manager performed aggressive and non-supportive behaviors toward me and possibly others, I felt relief in their discomfort. As of now, I do not feel satisfied with their hardships. Believe it or not, as I reflect, I feel empathy, yes empathy, for me, them, the business, and our world. Here it is, these company leaders hired great talent, but we were not getting along. We were not making profits. And more importantly, we all were not having peace of mind about this thing called "employment". I & my kind was not equally represented and supported, especially in succeeding into leadership roles. My aggressors were practicing poor behavior and faced personal challenges. We received the aggression and, in addition, had unique challenges. So, we were inconvenienced more, causing all not to benefit at work. The business was losing out.

My heart quietly went out to the white female whose spouse cheated on her, as that was not a race or gender thing. All people experience that kind of pain. My heart went out to the general manager, who came in with his face scratched to pieces. Again, home issues are worldwide. Then my heart went out to my upper manager, who had to separate from the company due to his inappropriate advances, as we all make mistakes and later learn from them. My progressive thought pattern of despair, happiness, and empathy is practiced by many people of color, especially women, because we are constantly targeted with inequities, so we are not forthcoming in being the bigger person, but we think of being it.

When America sees this vicious cycle of stress between race & gender and becomes aware that there needs to be a different approach to relieving the stress, at work and outside, we all will benefit. Today, statistics show a massive gap between senior-level business leadership and junior-level women of color roles. This gap remains for many reasons, such as gender differences, historic patriarchal practices, and a lack of awareness of the benefits of minimizing the gap. I suggest America Be Brown Brave and support its senior business leaders to scale their bravery, step out of their comfort zone, and help include people of color, especially women of color, to thrive and succeed in those leadership roles. Here are some ways senior leaders can start:

·       Become aware of the need for a change in approaching DEI

·       Review statistics and plan the business with women of all color in mind

·       Accept guidance on change

·       Act on that guidance and hire DEI experts to dive deep into your company's data

·       Improve consistently on those changes

Regarding women of color, leaders can start with personal changes: initiate interactions, invite to mentor, and sponsor her outwardly. Also, while having interactions in public, disrupt the perception of others from that status quo and create a diversion, place physical work-related objects near or between you, such as business books, stand them vertically, or hold them in your hands throughout the session. When viewed by others from a distance, this display will appear to be a working relationship. Most importantly, allow psychologically safe spaces for employees to vent, confess, and discuss their lack of awareness of others. Creating these small changes in behavior will significantly impact building the business and calming the tensions from employees' differences. Read Be Brown Brave (Guide to Supporting Women of All Color in the Workplace) and learn more ways for companies to benefit, leaders to motivate, and employees to operate to have peace of mind, allowing this learning to be carried into our personal lives. And result in all of us being kinder to one another.